Titus 2:4-5: That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
Paul writes these words in an epistle to Titus, giving these instructions for the older women: that they should teach young women to do the aforementioned things.
With Mother’s Day fast approaching, I’d like to examine a small phrase in these scriptures: to love their children. Paul says that the younger women must be taught to love their children. I do not personally know one mother who would admit to not loving their child. Even those who may not be actively raising their children due to addictions or other adverse circumstances still will say they love their children. Why would young women need to be taught to do something that seems to come naturally?
Because truly loving our children is more than a natural feeling of attachment, but a commitment to protecting them and raising them to the best of our abilities. How should we truly love our children? By being engaged, intentional, and prayerful mothers.
Engaged
The smartphone…the device created to bring us together is doing just the opposite. The internet is littered with surveys about the effects of smart phones and social media on the mental well being of our society. Now researchers are beginning to delve into the effects smartphones are having on our children. I’m as guilty as anyone, mindlessly picking up my phone to see if I have any notifications. One study found that when parents spent more time on their smartphones, it took them longer to react to their children’s behaviors, or possibly forgoing any reaction at all. The same study also found that parents became less empathetic and even neglectful of their children, causing their children to feel rejected. This was so convicting to me as a mother. While I love knowing what’s going on in the world, such as whose Facebook drama is currently unfolding ;), deep down I know that my children are more important. It’s time for us as mothers treat our smartphones as exactly what they are: sometimes a useful tool, but more often a distraction from what is most important. How loved do my children feel when I check my phone in the middle of an experience they are telling me about? I want my children to know they are important to me. To truly love my kids, and for them to feel loved, I must be engaged.
Intentional
Deuteronomy 6:4-7: Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God is one LORD: And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou riseth up.
Moses commanded the children of Israel that they should diligently teach their children to love God with every fiber of their being. He even tells them when they should do it: sitting in their house, walking by the way, upon awakening and going to bed. This creed of the Israelite people was their identity, and they were commanded to relentlessly teach their children who they were and to whom they belonged. Perhaps as Moses delivered these commands to the Israelites, he was reminded of his own mother: a brave Israelite woman, nursing her son, knowing that her time with her precious baby was short.
Soon, he would be delivered to Pharaoh’s palace to be raised as the son of Pharaoh’s daughter. I can imagine her whispering to him every morning and every evening, “No matter what they tell you, you aren’t an Egyptian. Don’t forget where you came from. Don’t forget who you really are.” Moses was brought to the palace when he was weaned and given the best of everything Egypt had to offer. However, we see the result of Jochebed’s intentional indoctrination of her son summed up in Hebrews 11:24: "By faith Moses, when he was come to years, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter, choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God, than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season."
Jochebed knew her time was short, her influence was limited, and her son would be exposed to all manner of idolatry in Egypt. Still she managed to reinforce his true identity in such a way that not even all the riches of Egypt could cause him to turn away from it. (Hebrews 11:25-26). Just as I imagine Jochebed looked for any moment to remind her son who he was, who he served, and just how loved he was, we must do the same with our children. Jochebed was an intentional mother, and it served her, her son, and her nation well. For our children to truly feel and be loved, we must be intentional.
Prayerful
While last in the list, it is definitely the most important. As mothers, we must be prayerful. There is a multitude of things to pray about concerning our children and their wellbeing:
- that they would love and serve God (Deuteronomy 30:18, III John 1:4)
- that they would choose good friends and influences (1 Corinthians 15:33, II Corinthians 14:10, Proverbs 13:20, Proverbs 22:24-25)
- for their future spouse. My mother-in-law has often told me that while my husband was a baby, she started praying for his wife, and that I am everything she has prayed for. How humbling it is to know that I became an answer she prayed fervently for 20 years! This inspired me to start to pray for my children’s future spouses as soon as I found out I was expecting.
Lastly, we must pray for wisdom.
James 1:5: If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of god, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.
I believe there are few higher causes that we could desire wisdom in, than in the raising of our children. We need God’s wisdom to help us guide, protect, teach and train our children in a world that is so intent on destroying them.
God has entrusted you, mama, with those precious babies. He has also commanded us to love them. There is no better way to love our children than to give them the gifts of our time, our attention, our training, and our prayers. Let us endeavor, as the Apostle Paul wrote, to truly love our children.
