“Mommy, do you know how much I love you?”
Those are the words that calm the storms in my thoughts. Mommyhood has a way of making you feel like a strong, capable, confident superhero and an absolute loser all at once.
Parenting is so hard sometimes.
I mean, most of the time I feel like I’ve really got this whole mommy-ing thing down. I’m a multitasker; I can kiss her forehead and mend the fake boo-boos while simultaneously vacuuming, doing laundry, making pancakes, and washing the dishes.
Other days are like when you lose your phone and you can’t find it ANYWHERE, but you’ve been holding it and talking on it the whole time you were searching for it. Or when you’re squinting outside in the sun because you forgot your sunglasses at home, only you didn’t actually forget your sunglasses, they have been on your head the WHOLE TIME.
Yeah, that’s the other way mommy-ing makes me feel.
I also feel like my almost-four-year-old is my best friend. We match our clothes, compliment each other, have sleepovers, eat snacks together, pray together, play together, encourage each other, have pretend church services together, and tell each other secrets. That’s what best friends do, right? She’s my world.
I want the best for her. I want to praise her when she does right and correct her when she does wrong. I try to tell her she’s smart and beautiful every day. I want to teach her humility. I want her to be strong, but I want her to know it’s perfectly okay to be fragile. I want her to be a lady: classy, feminine, and kind. I want her to be slow to anger and quick to forgive. I want her to be independent but know that her help is in Jesus and it is 100% okay not to have all the answers because HE is her answer. I want her to be an encourager, uplifter, worshipper, world-changer, soul-winner—and the list could go on.
But am I being all of those things? Am I exercising those same practices? Am I living the fruits of the Spirit? I’ve seen her mimic some of my best qualities, but I’ve also seen her mimic some of my worst.
My prayer:
Lord, please give me wisdom. Help me to handle her meltdowns the right way. Help me to show her kindness when my patience is gone. Give me grace through this toddler season and every season we face in the future. Help me to show her grace, and PLEASE keep piling the grace on me because I need it! Make me the mommy she needs me to be. Make me who you want me to be so I can be who she needs me to be. Lord, just as You have forgiven time and time and time again, may I always be quick to show her grace, mercy, and forgiveness.
In Jesus’ name, amen.
If you haven’t heard it today, hang in there, Momma; you’re amazing.
Until next time,
Big hugs and many blessings
Hannah