As I drove home from work, I blasted the song, “Cover Me,” by Mark Condon in an effort to drown out all the inner voices that had hijacked my thoughts. My head throbbed with tension and my hands were damp against the steering wheel. I probably shouldn’t have even been driving.
I burst into tears.
I’m pretty sure it was a coworker in the Toyota Camry next to me, but I was past caring. Don’t judge me too harshly, but the straw that had broken the camel’s back for me was the fact that…(transparent moment here)...Facebook and Instagram had been down for a few hours. Yeah, I know how shallow that sounds. Realistically, I’d been struggling with a lot of other things before that fateful day.
The past few weeks...months...years...have been hard. I have an upbeat, always-joking, bounce-back personality, but with the constant force-feeding on social media of death counts, vicious bickering over what we should or should not choose, political mayhem, constantly shifting pandemic restrictions – need I go on? – what would you think if Facebook and Instagram suddenly wouldn’t load for several hours? Something terrible has happened! Every conspiracy theory I’d dismissed in the past suddenly came rushing back like a flash flood.
Dramatic, I know. But even some of the strongest women I know have recently been battling depression and anxiety seriously for the first time in their lives. It doesn’t take much to feed the flames either.
Back to me bursting into tears.
I’m in the car, bawling and praying while I listen to the song repeat on Spotify, begging God to just come back and take his church home already, when I feel a check – more like a resounding thud – in my heart: I was acting self-absorbed and giving place to fear.
Didn’t I just tell someone the other day that, “When the world is darkest, God shines the brightest.”?
God promised to bring me through the storms of life, even “cover me” when I need a buffer from the waves, but what about those that face the same fears and struggles that I’m facing but without God? And that light in the darkness? As an ambassador of God, I play a part in being that light. If we’re all running around screaming, “The sky is falling! The sky is falling!” (Hello, Chicken Little fans.), who will speak the words of hope and faith?
God’s word gently humbles us with this challenge:
If thou hast run with the footmen, and they have wearied thee, then how canst thou contend with horses? and if in the land of peace, wherein thou trustedst, they wearied thee, then how wilt thou do in the swelling of Jordan?
(Jeremiah 12:5, KJV)
Will we continue to face the agony of loss? Yes.
Will the waters of disappointment continue to overrun their banks? Again and again.
Will the fires of life sweep through and consume your dreams? They might, my friend.
So, what hope do we have?
When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.
(Isaiah 43:2, KJV)
When… Not if.
We are not immune, nor do we get a pass on facing the hard things in life. But God promised, in Isaiah 43:2, to be with us. When you hurt, face a storm, all feels hopeless, and faith is close to nonexistent, the only words you may be able to pray in those dark moments might just be, “Cover me, Lord,” as you wait it out.
And, it’s okay, like me, if you burst into tears while you do.
(By the way, if you saw this post on Instagram or Facebook, the conspiracy theory was wrong. You’re welcome.)
Love,
Regina
Song Citation: “Cover Me.” Favorites with Mark Condon [CD]. (Recorded: October 2012)
Photo Citation: https://unsplash.com/photos/W-...
