Self-worth. Beauty. Confidence.
Many times when young women hear these phrases they cringe inside.
The danger in today’s culture is a world that is media based; in other words, a massive amount of pressure to measure up to the standards of the media. This topic has been on my heart lately, and I feel that it is truly of utmost importance.
I have heard so many young women state variations of “I wish I looked like her” or “I wish I was as talented as her.” Honestly, hearing this kills me inside. In the youth class that I teach, I often hear horror stories of young women being mercilessly bullied for their outward appearance. What many fail to realize is that with every hurled insult and demeaning word, women begin to slowly bottle these emotions up until they feel completely insignificant and unworthy of love. They do not feel beautiful because they are constantly being criticized for their appearance.
Unfortunately, as much as you try to encourage and uplift, sometimes the bad outweighs the good. I have recently seen young women tweeting about suicide and self-harm, it completely breaks my heart. It breaks my heart that young women are constantly comparing themselves to the standards of the media, that they compare themselves to models who have been completely airbrushed. They compare themselves to these people who seem to have their lives together, all the while constantly saying, “I wish I looked like them” and “I wish I could be like them.”
Let me let you in on a little secret:
everyone has insecurities. Everybody has days when you feel insignificant, inferior and unworthy — it doesn’t matter who you are. The danger of comparing ourselves to others is that we lose the uniqueness that God has given specifically to us. When we compare ourselves to other women, we lose confidence in the special purpose that God has for us. You must realize that in order to truly love others and reach out to those who are hurting, as you are called to do, you must first understand that you are worth it. You are worthy of love.
Darling, you have an immense natural beauty in Christ that is incomparable to the world’s standard of beauty. You have something as an Apostolic woman that the world can never obtain.
You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you. (Song of Solomon 4:7)
People I encounter often say to me, “You are so confident. How did you get to be like that?” Honestly, I haven’t always been confident in myself and in my purpose. In my early teen years, I wasn’t really sure who and what I wanted to be. I experienced some bullying, as many middle school students do, and I did not feel confident or sure of myself in any way. However, what I learned over time is that people are drawn to confidence. Humans are drawn to inner strength they see in others.
You must realize that in order to truly love others and reach out to those who are hurting, as you are called to do, you must first understand that you are worth it.
Obtaining confidence was definitely not something that happened overnight for me. It took realizing that even if my peers didn’t love me, there was Someone greater who always would. Even if my friends didn’t understand me, there was a God who always did. Even if you feel or believe that you’re beautiful, God created you in His image and in His likeness, and that is truly something to be proud of. Once you realize the worth that you have in Jesus Christ, there are no limits to what you can accomplish in Him.
I promise you that there is nothing more beautiful than a confidant woman who knows her worth in Christ.
You must realize that you have been fashioned for a specific purpose; you are far more beautiful than you could ever imagine, and that, my darling, is something to celebrate. Find what you are good at and focus on those talents that God has given specifically to you.
When you find and develop those talents for God, you will discover that it will be a great source of Godly confidence for you.