Read a Page Out of My Prayer Journal

July 31, 2017

Dear Jesus,

I feel so afraid of missing out.

Missing out on your “perfect will,” on “what I’m supposed to do,” on “the best years of my life” — and totally getting it all wrong.

I’m not sure where this anxiety comes from — certainly not You, because You are not the author of confusion. But then where? My own insecurities? The past? A desire to please man rather than God? Jesus, I don’t want these fears to get in the way of truly missing out on what You want for me and what You want me to do.

Lord, I feel restless so often. Is that restlessness You calling me to a higher place — is it You reaching out, requiring more from me? Or is that, again, the internal fears that I have created from within my own flesh?

Why does my outlook on life seem to shift so suddenly? Why does my present state of being seem so strictly defined by what I’m looking forward to — or dreading — in the future? Similarly, why do my feelings about the positivity and/or negativity of the future affect my present state? It all seems so shallow and self-serving compared to Your calling. Please help me to put your calling ahead of my flighty feelings, worries, and disappointments.

God, is my desire to do something for you out of selfish motive? I do not think so, but if it is, check my spirit. Know my heart, Lord — and know that I want to be a woman after Your heart. Create in me a clean heart, a right spirit, a joyful countenance, a loving soul.

Lord, give me Your eyes and heart so that I may do Your work without failing in my own humanity. Please help me to trust in You wholly. Please help me to discover true peace and joy in You that is not determined by present circumstances or future dreams I may have. Please help me to believe in Your sovereignty above my own desires. Please help me to have faith in You completely beyond my own fears. Please help me to believe in Your grace thoroughly. Please help me to have constant reverence for You and Your Word.


Editor’s note:

My dearest darling:

Today’s post is a piece of my personal puzzle, a page out of my personal prayer journal. I wanted you to know that you’re not alone in this pursuit of an intentional life. Everything that you have felt? Another woman on the path to intentionality has felt it, too. The thoughts and questions that plague your mind in the wee hours of the morning? You’re not alone.

You are loved. You are valued. Your past does not define you and your future is not more important than this moment, right here, right now — today.

Yet in the knowledge that God has the most beautiful life planned out for you, I also know that you have questions and that you want answers.

I know that you believe in God, I know that you want to follow His heart, but I also know that sometimes it’s easy to forget that there’s a purpose in today that goes beyond today. I know you believe in God but at times it’s hard to trust Him.

Don’t let fear and anxiety cripple your purpose — don’t let uncertainty mingle with the surety of God’s Word and promises. Just know that becoming “She’s Intentional” is a process and not an arrival point — you will make it. You are on the right path, Jesus does love you, and you are beautiful and brave and blessed in spite of all the obstacles that seem to block your way.

Allow Jesus to use your questions to take you to a higher place in Him; be solely committed to Jesus in every aspect of your life no matter what happens in your day and you will experience true intentionality as you keep your focus on the Kingdom of God.