The Dating Secret

April 30, 2018

For as long as I can remember, I have always been afraid of the word DATING! I didn’t know if I’d do it “right” or be a good companion of someone else. Yet even though the thought of dating was scary, I longed for it all of my life.

As girls/women, we spend a lot of time thinking about who we will date/marry. We are constantly thriving for the feeling of joy, love, and satisfaction. We all want someone who loves us unconditionally. If we are not careful, we will let one guy control our happiness and consume our time — knowing deep down inside he isn’t the right one.

We spend hours getting ready, just hoping a guy will notice. We compare ourselves to other girls we think are “perfect” or “Instagram goals,” and who appear to get all the guys’ attention. We try to imitate them but are never satisfied. We spend hours in the gym and countless days dieting hoping to gain some sort of attention.

We fail to truly love ourselves the way God’s love designed us.

We think having the perfect man will fix all of our problems and fulfill us inside. We want someone with a strong prayer life, but we ourselves only give God the 5-second prayer we pray before we eat.

We want the most godly guy possible, but don’t strive to be wholeheartedly godly ourselves.

So I ask: When was the last time you were completely happy with yourself, with or without a man?

When was the last time you truly endeavored to be a person you would want to marry?

When was the last time you took a jog just to feel good for yourself?

I’m not a dating expert, nor will I ever be! I don’t know the answers to all the dating questions, and I am not perfect at dating. I am 23 and JUST started dating for the first time two months ago. . . . So I am happily learning day by day!

I truly believe the secret to dating is being the person you would want to date and putting God first.

I’ve personally learned that when you focus all your attention on God and stop worrying about your future, that’s when true growth begins. Although we all want to eventually get married, being single is a privilege. During your time of single-ness, you can really grow your relationship with God without the distraction of a boyfriend/spouse. Enjoy it! You can learn who God created you to be and why HE is the only source of happiness. You will realize that Jesus is the only source of pure satisfaction. While boyfriends can be loving, fun, and so much more, no boyfriend can satisfy you the way Jesus does.

When you are sad, lonely, and disappointed . . . When you are caught up thinking about your future . . . Spend time with Jesus. He wants your attention; He loves you.  He has NEVER left your side, and He will NEVER leave you. HE wants to be there for you and to love on you. He wants to help you become the person you’ve always desired to be.

But will you let him?

P.S. For us ladies in dating relationships, keeping God first is also a huge and important challenge. It is important that we keep striving to be the absolute best we can be and not get too comfortable just because we’ve gotten what we’ve always longed for! It is so easy to put our person before God, and when we do, it is one of the easiest ways to become discontent. When we put our person before God, we place expectations on him that are only meant to be fulfilled by God! As I mentioned above, I have only been in a relationship for a short period of time, but I quickly learned that keeping God first and in the center is the secret to a happy fulfilling relationship. 

If you have any tips, secrets, or advice, please share in the comments! As a girl new to the dating world, I would LOVE to hear what YOU have to say!

Stay blessed,

Asiah Angelle