Failures. Mistakes. Sins.
Those are small words packed with a great big punch.
A punch that — when it hits us — hits us hard, fast, and in all the places it hurts the most: the heart, the emotions, the mind.
A moment of vulnerability for me, Darling: I’ve always been terrified of failure. Of any kind, of every kind: of failing to do my best and dealing with that disappointment, of failing to reach certain standards others have for me, of failing to make myself worthy of Jesus’ love and salvation.
I wouldn’t say I’m necessarily a people-pleaser, because I definitely walk to the beat of my own drum and have a pretty strong personality — but there’s something in my heart that has always desired to succeed, not only for myself but for those around me. I’ve always wanted to bring joy, pride, and happiness to the hearts of people I love. And the thought of failing to do so breaks me like none other.
But the fact is, my darling, that it’s impossible NOT to fail. We’re human. We’re imperfect. We’re flesh, born into a sinful world. No matter how hard we try, no matter what we plan to do, at some point we will disappoint ourselves, our family, our friends.
Living an intentional life that is pleasing to Jesus does not make us exempt from mistakes. Living our lives FOR Jesus, living modestly, doing all “the right things” doesn’t mean that there won’t be times when we aren’t all that we should be. We strive for perfection, yes. But we’re not perfect — only Jesus is that. For if we were perfect, we wouldn’t need a Savior, would we?!
And so what do we do in those times when failure does come? When we do make mistakes? When we fall, we sin, we are less than we should be? When we feel like everything we’ve ever set out to do is thrown back into our faces while Satan laughs at us in what feels like is the lowest point of life?
God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God.
{Romans 5:8-9, ESV}
First things first, remind yourself that Jesus loves you. He died for you, remember? He took every weight, every burden, every one of your sins to the cross so that you could be free from that baggage. THAT is how much He loves you. There is nothing, and I mean that — truly nothing — that you have done that Jesus won’t forgive. There is no sin that He can’t and won’t wash away to make you pure; there is nothing so dirty about your past or what you’ve done that He will turn away in disgust from you because He loves you.
Secondly, after you repent from whatever it is that is weighing your heart down with disappointment, allow Jesus to make you whole. Romans 5:8-9 reminds us that Jesus loved us even when we were sinners — not after we repent, not after we turn aside from wrongdoings… but IN our brokenness, IN our shame, IN our failure: that’s when He loved us. That’s when He decided we were worth loving, worth saving, worth dying for.
Your failure is not your demise.
In fact, oh sweet girl, your failure is what will make you appreciate Jesus’ love for you all the more. Because we are no good in ourselves. Your goals, your ambitions, your dreams — they’re all good, and it’s right to have them — but they are not your savior. It’s in the times you feel completely inadequate and oh-so-messy that Jesus can work in your heart. That’s when He can love you in the most complete way, that’s when you SEE how He really is enough for you, that’s when you experience the purification of His blood washing your sins away. And don’t forget: once you’ve repented, once you’ve turned away from that sin, Jesus doesn’t even remember them.
He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west.
{Psalm 103:12, ESV}
You are completely CLEAN, FORGIVEN, and WHOLE when you give your failures, your mistakes, your sins to Jesus. And there is nothing like feeling His love, peace, and forgiveness wash over your soul and heart. Know that girl you were yesterday is in the past: your sufferings, your hardships, your mistakes — there’s nothing too big for God to make clean. Know that your future is bright because Jesus will never shame you for your failures and mistakes. Know that, if you let them, your failures will bring you closer to Jesus and that He will make you whole.
And Jesus said unto her, Daughter, thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace, and be whole…
{Mark 5:34, KJV}
Don’t let your failure be demise — let it be what brings you closer to Jesus than ever before.