You Set the Tone

September 24, 2021 · by Heidi Stewart

“If Mama ain’t happy, nobody’s happy”

You’ve probably heard this phrase a lot. I used to disagree with it, because to me, it seemed to convey that everyone in the house was supposed to function solely to make Mama happy. “Well Mama can just get happy” I would think to myself. But as a wife, I now have a different perspective of this idea. It probably doesn’t line up with what most people mean when they say it, but it is a nugget that can change your home for the better.

As a woman, you’re probably familiar with the wide range of emotions that we feel on any given day. The world says these emotions should be validated at all times and shouted from the rooftops; “female empowerment!”, “my voice matters!”, etc. And yes, your voice matters, but the Bible gives us a different image of what it means to be a powerful woman.

Proverbs 21:9 says, “Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, than in a house shared with a contentious woman.”

Proverbs 16:32 says, “He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.”

Sister, you have the power to set the tone in your home. If there’s a lot of drama flying around your house, I challenge you to take a hard, prayerful look at your responses in the heat of anger. What words and actions are you allowing in your home? Check the feelings that flare up in your heart and see if it would be wiser to wait to speak. Most of the time, it’s wiser to wait until your words can be fruitful rather than destructive.

Are your emotions valid? Sometimes. Sometimes they’re real and sometimes they’re your hormones. Sometimes they are products of listening to the whisper of the enemy in your ear. That’s why it’s best to wait until you’ve discerned “whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report” before you let just anything fly out of your mouth.

A praying wife who spends time in that precious Word of God can change the entire feel of her home. When you spend time in the Word, it gets in your spirit. And we all know that what’s in your spirit will come out eventually in your speech and actions. With the Word in her spirit, she remembers that “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.”

As she spends time in prayer, she hears the still, small voice of God whisper, “count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.”

This relationship with God through His Word & prayer makes a woman powerful. She has the ability now to build her husband up into a leader and make her home a haven for all who enter. She gains favor with employers and even favor with her coworkers with this sweet and wise conversation.

You have power as a woman of God. It doesn’t look like the world’s version of female empowerment, but it is the most fulfilling role you’ll ever have because God designed you, called you, and is equipping you to do it.

Heidi Stewart

About Heidi Stewart

Heidi Stewart is from Del City, Oklahoma, where she and her husband serve in music ministry and as youth workers alongside some of the best people in the world. She has a passion to educate, inspire, and help others reach their full potential through mentoring and discipleship. Her heart’s desire is to live a purposeful life, giving glory to Jesus in all of it, by serving the Kingdom with excellence. Follow Heidi on Instagram at @heidistewarttt